Quotes

[last lines to Sofia]
David: Do you remember what you told me once? That every passing minute is a another chance to turn it all around.
Sofía: I’ll find you again.
David: I’ll see you in another life… when we are both cats.

David: He never watched television, and yet his biggest magazine is still the TV Digest.

David: Even in my dreams, I’m an idiot who knows he’s about to wake up to reality.

David: My dreams are a cruel joke. They taunt me. Even in my dreams I’m an idiot… who knows he’s about to wake up to reality. If I could only avoid sleep. But I can’t. I try to tell myself what to dream. I try to dream that I am flying. Something free. It never works…

[first lines]
Sofía: [in Spanish] Open your eyes.
Sofía: [in English] Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Open you…
[David wakes up and pushes the snooze button on his alarm]

[last lines]
The Future: [voice] Relax, David. Open your eyes.

David: And to what do I owe this pleasure?
Sofía: The pleasure of Sofia Serrano.

Sofía: What about you? What’s your nickname?
David: Citizen Dildo.
Sofía: Hmm. You are not staying over.

Thomas Tipp: But I say this with complete love. Claim your life. Learn to be an asshole. Don’t…
David: Two’s enough.
Thomas Tipp: Forgive me. But I still believe in this family, David, even if it’s only you.

David: See, I’ve got this little problem. I’ve got a stalker.
Sofía: It doesn’t sound life threatening.
David: But I need a cover. I need for you to pretend we’re having a scintillating conversation, and you are wildly entertained.
[Both laugh]
David: I know it’s tough.
Sofía: I’ll improvise.

David: Thomas Tipp was right; people will read again.

David: Is it me?

David: No. Tell me now.
Sofía: I’ll tell you later.
David: If something’s wrong please tell me now.

David: Say everything now, now, now, now.

David: Look at us. I’m frozen and you’re dead, and I love you.
Sofía: It’s a problem.
David: I lost you when I got in that car. I’m sorry.

Brian: You’re rich and women love you, and I’m from Ohio and I’m drunk. Can I tell you the truth?
David: Everybody does.
Brian: I dig her, and I’ve never said this to you before about any girl. But she could be, could be, could be, could be the girl of my fucking dreams.
David: You’re not from Ohio.
Brian: I know.

David: You’re not blind. You’re drinking Jack Daniels, and when you drink Jack, you start in with that… Frank Sinatra, she shot me down, give me a cigarette, “King of Sad” thing.
Brian: That I do. Give me a cigarette.

David: My father wrote about this in his book. Chapter 1… Page 1… Paragraph 1: What is the answer to 99 out of 100 questions?… Money.

David: The little things… there’s nothing bigger, is there?

David: Where’s Sofia? WHERE IS SHE?
Julie: I AM SOFIA.

David: Doc, once you’ve been driven off a bridge at 80 miles an hour, somehow you don’t invite happiness in without a full body search.

David: I wanna wake up! Tech support! It’s a nightmare! Tech support! Tech support!

David: These? These are more than headaches. These are steel plates slicing through my every thought.

[Sofía is taking David's mask off]
David: How bad is it?
Sofía: …Well… your ears are in the right place… And the rest of it… is not bad at all. It’s perfect!

David: I want to live a real life… I don’t want to dream any longer.

Dr. Curtis McCabe: You do understand that our time is limited, don’t you?
David: If I talk… you’ll just think I’m crazy.
Dr. Curtis McCabe: With all the possible respect I can offer a man wearing a latex mask and spouting conspiracy theories, David, believe me, you’ve crossed that bridge.

Dr. Curtis McCabe: And you didn’t immediately wanna sleep with her?
David: Well, you know, I’m a pleasure delayer.

[David receives his facial prosthetic]
Dr. Pomeranz: It’s a helpful unit.
David: Good. Because for a minute there, I thought we were talking about
[shouts]
David: a fucking mask!
Dr. Pomeranz: It’s only a mask… if you treat it that way.
David: Oh, no. It’s great. This completely takes care of Hallowe’en. But what about the other 364 days of the year?

David: I WANNA WAKE UP!

David: I like your life.
Sofía: Well, it’s mine and you can’t have it!

Julie: If I wasn’t me, I’d buy my album.
David: You know, if you can reach one person.

David: Somebody died. It was me.

Brian: We almost died, man… And do you know what I saw?
David: What?
Brian: Your all life flashing in front of me…
David: And how was it?
Brian: Almost worth dying for…

David: [looking at himself in the mirror]
Guy in Bathroom: Dude, fix your fucking face.
[friend laughs]
David: [starts laughing]